


I Owe You

by seungwanxndxnly



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ferris Wheels, Florists, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Minor Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26082475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungwanxndxnly/pseuds/seungwanxndxnly
Summary: Johnny is a man of action, not of eloquent words.When he sets his mind on something, It's going to get done, in the most extravagant way possible.Only Johnny's big crush on Kun can hold him back. Maybe.
Relationships: Suh Youngho | Johnny/Qian Kun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 76
Collections: Johnkun Fic Fest Round 1 (2020)





	I Owe You

**Author's Note:**

> #H029 for JKFF  
> Prompt: Johnny orders for a bouquet of flowers that says GO TO HELL, FUCKER!" but florist Kun just hands him a single chrysanthemum and said with a pleasant smile "My condolences to you & to the recipient." The action renders Johnny speechless.

Taeyong would argue that Johnny has a flair for the dramatic. Johnny would disagree, but his case, based on the facts, isn’t looking particularly strong. Johnny’s mother asked him to knock off the pranks, practically begging before she sent her son to college. Johnny countered that his dramatic tendencies did not manifest themself in pranks, but in performance art. Sometimes things are better expressed through actions, like when Johnny smuggled a goat onto the roof of his 8th-grade science teacher’s roof, to turn in his demonstration of third law pairs (Johnny got a B+ and the goat was returned to his school district 4-H program). After the first taste of chaos, Taeyong would eventually relay to Yuta on a movie date at Johnny and Taeyong’s apartment was what set Johnny on his path of insanity, and he failed to show signs of stopping. 

In High School, after Jaehyun Jung got AirPods and Johnny finished his unit on the Russian Revolution, Johnny started tripping him in the middle of hallways while screaming “DOWN WITH THE BOURGEOISIE” and then running down the hallway. In the disciplinary meeting, Mrs. Seo was mortified, Mrs. Jung was justifiably angry that her son was being tripped by upperclassmen, but Principle Choi let Johnny off with a warning after Jaehyun couldn’t look Johnny in the eyes without bursting into laughter. Mr. Choi asked Johnny to wage his class war while he wasn’t on the grounds of school property. 

“That’s exactly what the bourgeoisie would want.” 

“Son, I am not being paid enough to fight for the bourgeoisie, I just need you to stop harming kids in between class.” 

Johnny laughs to himself as he reminisces on his more dramatic previous life when Jaehyun sends him a snapchat memory of Jaehyun unboxing his AirPods. 

Johnny's phone pings, echoing throughout the library against the will of Johnny's shut off ringer.

_Yuta broke up with me._

Johnny’s hands go cold. Pinpricks travel down from the leg he’s been sitting on, all the way up through his spine, ending at his ears. He can see his hands tighten around the case of his phone, his pop socket digs into

A text from Taeyong Johnny never thought he’d get. Johnny starts slamming his laptop into his backpack slamming pens into the front compartment. Johnny was never organized, why start today. 

As Johnny made his way to the mini-mart off-campus, he started jamming his fingers against his phone screen, tapping around to the on-campus florists web page. 

Happy Birthday. Congratulations. Apologies. My Condolences. 

My Condolences will have to do. 

///

The florist looks up at Johnny, eyes’ steeled but his cheeks are dimpled. 

“My condolences to you and to the recipient.”

Johnny stares at the yellow chrysanthemum being outstretched toward him. He stares at the bright peace offering and then at Kun (the crooked nametag betraying his identity).

Kun points to the decorative blackboard on top of the counter, the ornate frame contrasting the dimly lit college campus drugstore. Scrawled In smudgy white chalk reads We refuse the right to serve anyone! The full stop under the exclamation point punctuated with a small heart. 

“Between you and me” Kun leans in like he’s about to tell Johnny about an unreleased Beyonce album, “D.O. wouldn’t let me write ‘fucker’ on the greeting card.” The expletive barely hits Johnny’s ears, he wouldn’t even have known Kun had said it had he not been staring intently at the amateur florist’s face. As adorable, and hilariously innocent Kun, a full-on college student, had been, Johnny jammed his hands into his pocket in frustration. His pent up anger had fueled his speed-walk to the mini-mart on campus, but now it had nowhere to go. 

Kun, sensing the tension changing, brings a smile to his eyes “Here’s the 40 dollars for two dozen white roses you ordered. I feel like you can do a lot better than two dozen white roses if that’s how you’re feeling about someone.” He hesitates for a moment. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m not okay. I’m Johnny.” What did he just say? God should smite him on the spot. 

Kun doesn’t skip a beat. “Okay Johnny, I’m Kun. Should you be spending 40 of your college dollars on flowers?” 

Johnny sighs, looking over at the wrathful eye of D.O., the grad student managing the mini-mart, the only witness of Johnny’s flirting failure, and begins on personal tale of how he and Taeyong arrived at university. He and Taeyong met Yuta in their English Literature course, and how Taeyong fell in love with Yuta. How Yuta loved him back. How Johnny helped Taeyong fold 300 paper cranes and build a rig that released them right before Taeyong told Yuta that he loved him. This is too personal to tell someone I’ve really never met before. It’s not my love story to tell. But it kind of was. It was how Johnny, who loved Taeyong, who loved Yuta, came together. 

It was really the closest Johnny had ever come to his own love story. But Kun listened intently, with sincerity. More sincerity than a college mini-mart florist and one-time classmate in Johnny’s chemistry lab should have exerted on the conversation. Johnny wrapped up his story to Kun with what had just happened, the text, the flowers, pressing the “my condolences” option, which seemed correct at the time, but now that Johnny had thought about it for more than a minute was probably meant more for loss instead of heated revenge. 

“So you like big gestures?” Kun laughed. Johnny fell more in love. 

“Nothing sends a message quite as effectively.” 

“That text seemed pretty efficient.” 

Johnny clutched his hands to his heart and winced, “too soon.” 

“Sorry.” Kun gestured at the limp flowers residing in sad plastic containers. “If you really want to send some flowers, we have some snapdragons or some roses. But I think that’s the opposite message that you want to send. You could also talk to him like the adult you are.” 

“That’s technically an option,” Johnny admitted through gritted teeth. 

“If you want to talk about it, or if you really want to send those two dozen white roses, I can do it for you. I’ll be here next Monday. I’ll even cover half of it. But I think you should talk to your friend.” Kun’s dimples deepened again, and there went Johnny’s determination and will. 

“I’m gonna need that in writing.” 

Kun reaches for the receipt and flips it over, pulls a pen with a plastic flower wrapped around the end and scribbles for a moment. 

I _O U!_ Scrawled in small print at the bottom, Good For at least a dozen white roses, or chat. 

Johnny tucks the receipt into his wallet, says his pleasantries, memorizes the kind grin on Kun’s face, and takes his first steps toward the automatic doors. D.O. clears his throat like he’s getting ready for a shakedown. Johnny reaches into the cluttered displays on the counter for a pack of gum and smiles at D.O. 

“Stop distracting my best employees. Do you want this in a bag?!” 

“D.O. it’s literally just us in here. And no. It’s a pack of gum, I think I’ll survive.” 

Johnny finally crosses the threshold from the land of Kun to the land of the outdoors. His phone vibrates against the minty gum Johnny just bought. A text from Taeyong. 

_please don’t do anything stupid._

///

“Stop scheming.” Jaehyun chucks the stress ball at Johnny, missing by a cool four feet.

Admittedly, it’s a risky move from Jaehyun move. Johnny’s hidden skills have been developing since his little league years. 

And he would if he wasn’t up to his ear in Kun daydreams. Buying flowers for the dimpled florist. Getting coffee with the newfound sparkly-eyed love of Johnny’s life. Kissing Kun’s perfect lips until he smiled into them together. Even the mundane stuff, like holding hands, running his fingers across his knuckles to soothing himself. What’s he even thinking, holding hands could never be mundane with Kun. Getting down on one knee, pulling out a ring pop as a peace offering.

Johnny needs a boyfriend. Preferably soon. Uncontrollably crushing on Kun has become a deterrent for getting back at Yuta. But who cared about Yuta with Kun around… 

“Are you still mad that Yuta broke up with you and Taeyong?” Jaehyun remarks, risking his life for the second time this afternoon. 

“Check it Jaehyun, I won’t hesitate to kick you off this project, or worse.” Johnny’s only slightly joking while punching his own hand menacingly. 

“I don’t think you have the authority to do that.” Jaehyun scoots his chair closer to Johnny, studying his face, a little too close for Johnny’s personal comfort. Before Johnny can even lean back to establish a barrier between their coffee breath Jaehyun starts again. “Hyung, you know I have an excellent gaydar.” 

“That’s not true. Mingyu did your anthro homework for two months before you could tell he wanted to get into your pants.” 

Jaehyun’s ears give away his intentions, while also giving Johnny silent victory. The accurate reading does not deter Jaehyun’s interrogation. “This whole week you’ve had a far away look in your eyes. Your either freaking out about midterms, Yuta or a boy.”  
Okay, so maybe Jaehyun’s gaydar had a tune up this summer. Whatever condition Jaehyun’s gaydar had returned to campus in, the paperwork in front of Johnny seemed infinitely more interesting now, even as Jaehyun continued to pester. 

“Is it upperclassman? Underclassman?” Is it Doyoung?”  
  


Johnny could feel the tension dissipate from his body. He had an out. 

“Doyoung?” Johnny looked at Jaehyun in the eyes for the first time in three minutes. “Jaehyun, you’ve brought him up so much tonight, do you have something you would like to share with the class?” It was condescending, yes, but it was worth it. 

“Shut up.” Jaehyun huffed out. 

As determined as Johnny was to get to the bottom of new Jaehyun/Doyoung developments, Johnny was nothing if not flowing with benevolence. “While you’ve been using your gaydar on me, I’ve actually been productive. Here’s the music licensing info for Kwon, and the themes for the next eight weeks.” 

Delighted by the change in topic, Jaehyun works hard to skim the list. Jaehyun’s brows furrow until they’re halfway down his face. “Week 5: Lunch Spots, 6: Betrayal, 7: Finals, 8: Dogs? Do Joshua and Jeonghan even want to talk about this?” Jaehyun judges Johnny again, there was apparently a lot of judgement in the air this morning. “This isn’t a weird excuse to air your dirty laundry during week six is it?”  
“Jaehyun if I let you plan out the topics, you would hijack the conversation to spend week three talking about Doyoung’s eyes, the next talking about his waist, and the next about how he’s actually smart and hot.” Johnny speaks from experience. Arguably too much experience. The conversation devolves into one that’s more productive, both members calling an assumed truce by refusing to target each other’s love lives. 

By the time Johnny and Jaehyun turn off the lights in the meeting room, Johnny has stopped thinking about anything else, except the empty reusable coffee cup he’s clutching, contemplating making another run to Starbucks. And also… 

“So have you talked to Doyoung recently?” It’s hard to contain the mischief on an uncaffeinated brain. 

“Haha.” Jaehyun retorts lightly, adjusting the laptop in his hands. “I’ve been, uh, keeping my distance, playing it cool.” 

“You should talk to him, and stop reading those weird women’s magazines about how to get a guy to notice you. Those tips only work on assholes. Doyoung isn't that much of an asshole.” 

Okay, so Johnny wasn’t Doyoung’s number one fan but he couldn't say he wasn’t rooting for Jaehyun to nut up and start asking Doyoung out. It was a long time coming, Jaehyun was a bit of a nerdy duckling his freshman year. Over the summer, he seemed to have an intense glow up, for lack of a better term. Jaehyun traded in his ratty X-files sweater for a cool leather jacket (Captain America inspired Johnny would later learn after Jaehyun had one too many hard lemonades). His Star Trek t-shirts traded for vintage Star Trek tee’s a size too small, to show off the effects of Jaehyun’s summer work out regime. Turns out Jaehyun had met Doyoung during their summer courses, became his project partner, and decided to never shut up about him. Johnny was eager to see the fruits of Jaehyun’s labor finally flower.

“It’s not like he doens--- oof.” 

Serves him right for talking about other men. There’s only one man on Johnny’s mind again, and not because they ran into each other, hitting the other on the forehead with surprising force. Kun. Angels seemed to sing, accompanying the beat of Johnny’s forehead throbbing, cheeks hot, rising by the minute. Jaehyun’s eyes seem to sparkle with recognition. Not before common decency reappears to take over Jaehyun’s body. 

“Kun!” Jaehyun reaches over to Kun, back to Johnny, as if there weren’t two people in this accident. “Are you okay?” Jaehyun’s too busy sifting through dropped papers and lending Kun a hand to lift him up, leaving all six plus feet of Johnny to lay on the floor. 

Once Kun stands up straight up again, with one hand against his temple, a smile still plastered on his face, he reaches out again to lift Johnny from his initial resting place. He speaks so softly that Johnny almost can’t hear it. “Hi. It’s a good thing your coffee cup is empty.” 

Come on Johnny, be witty and charming and “yep”. 

You know what, could be worse. 

“Kun I haven’t seen you in so long!” Jaehyun pulls Kun into a bro hug. Did Jaehyun learn that over the summer too??? 

Kun appropriately turns toward Jaehyun and smiles again. “Jaehyun, it’s nice to see you again? It’s so funny, Doyoung and I were just talking about you. Doyoung hasn’t seen you around his 4pm? Where have you been?”  
  


“Yeah.” Jaehyun can’t hide the obvious pleasure at the question. “I’ve just been so busy, you know?” 

“Of course, you should come by and get dinner with us. Doyoung and I want to hang out again!” Jaehyun bows out of the conversation, whether he’s done talking, or teasing Jaehyun, Kun keeps an even keel on where his eyes are. Never suspiciously long over Johnny, as if he could give away their earlier meeting. “You too, Johnny. I’ll see you two around.” Kun walks past them and waves obviously rushing to get to another class. 

“You two know each other?”  
“It’s a small world Johnny, at least for the summer courses, everyone knows each other.” Jaehyun laughs, as if it’s the most obvious thing for them to know.

///

Ah procrastination. Every college student's cruel mistress. Eats money and time, with nothing to show for, except that one afternoon Johnny taught himself how to beatbox instead of calling his advisor. So, Johnny wasn’t done with his essay for COMM, so what? Neither was half the class, but the Engineering College Library, that was where procrastination came to die. So the building is constructed from soul crushing concrete and the reception is borderline non-existent in the basement, it’s the anecdote to his most recent problem. Looking at his textbook and deciding to put off writing the essay another day. It’s entirely coincidental that Johnny had recently discovered Kun and Doyoung studied in the engineering library, bless Jaehyun and his sweet, uncontrollable mouth. 

So if Johnny strikes up a conversation with Kun, that might derail his productivity plans a little, but maybe not his life plan. And if they hold hands at the microfilms machines, Johnny wouldn’t complain. And if Kun pulled Johnny by the collar against the bookshelves, Johnny would be pleasantly surprised that he was becoming the idiot love interest in a Nancy Meyers film. 

Instead Yuta was in front of the engineering building, cradling a soccer ball like a high school sophomore with no other personality trait. Yuta’s earbud cords snaking through his sweater. Johnny can’t help but do the mental calculus in his head. If Yuta looked affable from 30 yards away, he must be beaming up close. Yuta’s sunny disposition never dimmed, even if he broke someone’s heart a few weeks ago. Imagine how many hearts he could break between then and now. 

Which Yuta couldn’t do, at least not to Johnny. Just keep walking, put one foot in front of the other. Channel the rage into a banging comm essay, your GPA needs it Johnny. Avoid him. 

“Hi Johnny.” Yuta looks tepid about the interaction, but Johnny has to give Yuta props for bravery, knowing the way this conversation could quickly devolve. Yuta is perched on the edge of the bench, earbuds no longer in his ears, hand up, as if he couldn’t bother to give Johnny a greeting with enough energy to power a wave. 

Johnny grips his backpack strap tight. Johnny has been on the receiving end of Taeyong’s practice lessons for calming kids down to know that he doesn’t respond. “Yuta.” Johnny scoffs. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” Yuta could trick Johnny into being sincere. His doe eyes are in full force, and the furrow in his eyebrows reminds Johnny of when Taeyong wouldn’t eat enough on his 5 hour class days, and came back to the apartment weaker than he left it. 

“You broke up with Taeyong. I didn’t see a reason for us to see each other anymore.” It’s cold, Johnny knows, but he had stayed up with Taeyong that night, far too late as the heartbreak reserve of ice cream was finally tapped. The quart of cookie dough ice cream was half as light when the sun rose that morning. 

“I broke up with Taeyong, I didn’t stop being your friend.” Yuta countered. 

“Yuta you left us high and dry without you!” Johnny fired back. “If you had just talked to us---” 

“Yuta hyung! I haven’t seen you in a while.” Human-pressed shirt and man who looks like he’s never done the bro handshake hug, Doyoung Kim, extends his hand out to Yuta. Johnny is right, the men smash their shoulders into each other, Yuta has the decency to look concerned, Doyoung’s gaze is permanently plastered to stubborn. “John.” 

“How’s Jeno and Sooyoung?” 

“They're fine.”

It would kill Doyoung to elaborate. Efficient. Robotic. I’m Kim Doyoung and I refuse to show kindness. Cannot compute… joke? Rebooting… 

At the sight of Kun. His hair is fluffy in that, I just tried to solve a problem for thirty minutes and spent 29 of those minutes pulling his hair out. An intellectual. Johnny felt his chest tighten, suffocating but in a cute way. Johnny knew, his heart wasn’t beating fast because he was pissed at Yuta, it was just his permanent Kun detection instinct. Would it be premature to get down on one knee right now, to prevent him from getting away. 

“Hey.” Kun moves closer to where he was watching the scene unfold at the automatic doors of the library to Johnny's side. He’s so close, Johnny can hear the slight crackle of Kun’s lips against themselves. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m just not doing so hot right now.” Johnny runs his hand through is hair 

“You’re still pretty hot Johnny don’t worry.” Kun puts a comforting hand on Johnny’s bicep and smiles. “Hey Yuta hyung! I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this bio lab you were in last year? How’s the class? I heard from Ten the midterms are brutal.” 

It’s a pretty funny scene, Johnny can’t help but laugh at the sight of four men standing so opposingly to each other in front of the library. Doyoung is at Yuta’s side, half a step in front of Yuta, and Kun’s shoulders are 2 inches in front of Johnny’s chest, unintentionally protective of his situation. 

Yuta isn’t oblivious to the situation, he recognizes the underclassmen trying to stop two upperclassmen from getting into a full on brawl outside the library. He takes Kun’s question in good faith, answering his questions. Johnny suddenly recalls that Yuta acting like he knows it all seems to calm him down. Through it all, Kun has not moved from where he stood. In all other horny versions of this universe, that would be what Johnny is thinking about all the time, but Johnny focuses on breathing, fidgets with his backpack, figuring out how to signal to Kun that he would rather run from this conversation than continue. 

“It was so nice catching up with you Yuta, but I really gotta go study with Johnny. It’s really fortunate that you caught him out here.” Yuta looks nervous as he opens his mouth but before he can even respond with common pleasantries, Kun has gripped onto Doyoung and Johnny’s forearms and marches down the steps of the library. 

When Johnny looks back at the Yuta, he’s tucked the soccer ball under his arm, his shoulders tensed against his back. Johnny feels a pang of sympathy for Yuta, that part of him that wants to run up to Yuta and ask why? Shake him by the shoulders and demand answers, part of Johnny never wants to see Yuta ever again. 

“What classes do you even share together?” Doyoung accuses, as if he’s Sherlock Holmes, looking through the lies that Kun offered.

“None. We just needed to get out of there.” Kun replies. 

“Amen.” Johnny mutters under his breath. 

“Where are we going?” Doyoung pipes up again, Johnny would pay good money to whack him with a pan right about now. 

“I’m going to the coffee shop with Johnny, I’m saying goodbye to you.” Kun pauses and waves at Doyoung, puts his hands on Johnny’s waist and begins pushing Johnny into the general direction of the shopping district off campus. 

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Doyoung cries out to Kun.

“You could study for your Business Management midterm you couldn’t shut up about?” Kun looks back at Doyoung, raising his eyebrows, “Or you could ask Jaehyun to get dinner with you? Dealer's choice.” Kun raises his arms above his head and bear hugs Doyoung, attempting to pick him up and spin him around. Smacks Doyoung on the head, which Doyoung deserves, according to Johnny’s highly scientific calculations. 

Kun runs back over to Johnny, his eyes crinkle at the corners with amusement and more mischief than Johnny had initially registered.  
“Lead the way. Destination: whichever coffee shop is closest to here.” Johnny doesn’t have to be told twice. 

“He’s just standing there. Are you sure you don’t want to send him off again?” Johnny asks looking back at Doyoung.

“He’ll get over it, he’s a smart kid.” 

///

The coffee shop Johnny brings Kun is this close to being eaten by the Starbucks across the street. Save for college students' fascination with pretending you’re too cool for Starbucks and desire to shop local, maybe the Office Bean would not be here today. The warm lighting and excessive throw pillows makes the small shop feel like a pinterest post. 

Johnny brings their orders to the high top Kun has claimed for the both of them. Kun pulls a napkin from the napkin dispenser for Johnny to hold his ice americano on and graciously accepts his earl gray. Kun’s lack of coffee addiction could be overlooked as a flaw, maybe they made each other more compatible. 

“So, you know Yuta?” Johnny scrambles to piece together the happenings of the last half hour. 

“Yeah, well no, kinda?” Kun laughs at his indecision. “I know he’s at the business school with Doyoung. So maybe a familiar acquaintance.” 

It’s the shocking realization that Johnny has bared his heart out to Kun, over the personal relationship details of his best friend (and former best friend). Johnny’s cheeks heat and wringing his hands until their red. “You listened to me talk about how much I hated Yuta.” Johnny searches Kun’s eyes “Even though you knew him, you let me rant for arguably too long. Why?”  
  


Kun lifts an eyebrow, his mole raising on his brow bone.“You made a compelling case.” If it was appropriate, Johnny would clutch his chest in adorable pain. “Also, I didn’t think I could stop you from talking about Taeyong and Yuta even if I tried.” 

Johnny remembers the tirade he subjected Kun the first day they met, the IOU note Johnny still kept burning a hole in his wallet. “Thanks for listening.” 

Kun smiles at Johnny’s sudden shyness. “Of course. It’s the least I could do. Plus it was the most interesting day of my job, maybe I should be thanking you.” 

“I’m glad I could be useful to somebody.” Johnny grumbles. 

“If you don’t mind me asking.” Kun’s tone is inquisitive without being overbearing, “Have you talked to Yuta, before whatever happened outside the library.” 

Johnny grimaces. “No. But I have been thinking about how … get my point across, for lack of a better term.” 

Kun’s brow furrows, “Jaehyun said you were a communications major?”

Johnny replies quickly, “Well, I like to have a plan, or gesture, when I’m getting my point across, like a fun performance aspect. It makes the message stick.” Johnny relays the goat on science teacher’s roof story as evidence of his conviction.”  
  


“So you want to put a goat on Yuta’s roof?” 

“Metaphorically.” 

Kun’s eyebrows furrows before lifting. “Well maybe not that metaphorically.”

Johnny’s inner soulmate radar is going off at the comment, “So,” Johnny says as charmingly as he can “You wanna help?” The p sound pops from his mouth. And Johnny knows it's childish, he’s gotten enough lectures to “curb the stunts” after he came to college. Maybe it’ll be his last one, and if it's his last one, he’s got to make it count. That’s a justification he can reliably pass onto Taeyong, with a clearer conscience than some of his other excuses. “To reign me in of course.” 

Kun smiles again. That clever beautiful smile, it’s charming and sweet, and usually signals good news for Johnny. “Sure.” 

“So, what’s going on with Jaehyun and Doyoung?” Johnny tilts forward into the confidence gained at discussing someone else’s more pleasant relationship woes. 

Kun leans in with a laugh, mirroring Johnny’s. “Right?”

And in the low din of the local coffee shop, Johnny could see the future come rushing to him in the present. Sitting here laughing, arguably giggling, at anything that came out of Kun’s mouth. Except better. The reality painted a more vivid picture that rivaled the most imaginative daydreams Johnny could manifest himself. And if it wasn’t the cute boy in front of him or the caffeine racing through his system, Johnny could see a world in which this was all a simulation. 

B _RRRNG BRRRNG_

Johnny jumps in his seat at the sound of his phone ringing louder than he realized manufacturers made their phone. While clutching his leg he had managed to slam into the table top, Johnny managed to cradle and hsush the phone while he fumbled with the power button to turn the alarm off. While the residence of the cafe only seemed momentarily startled by the disturbance, the entire atmosphere of the coffee shop remained wholly and creepily undisturbed. Except for Kun, biting down on his own lip, as the last line of defense for another laugh, this time at Johnny’s expense threatened to escape. 

The alarm in caps lock: SUBMIT YOUR PAPER YOU IDIOT. 

Right the paper. His once cruel mistress, this time more of an unfortunate ball and chain preventing Johnny from continuing his pleasant affair. 

Kun reaches over to sweep the shredded up coffee cup holder Johnny has been ripping to prove to himself that Johnny’s really on the greatest date/non-date in the existence of the world.

“Are you busy?” Kun asks rhetorically, knowing the answer. 

“I really, really, want to lie and say no.” Johnny rubs his hands together, “but I really might not be able to graduate if I don’t finish this midterm paper.” That you thought you would be done with by now, his brain adds annoyingly. 

“Wait!” Kun whips out a napkin from under his drink and fishes a pen from his bag, scribbling his number in rushed yet neat handwriting. The attributes of a perfect husband definitely include being able to read his grocery lists, Johnny notes. “My number, so we don’t have to keep meeting at sad convenience stores in the middle night, or preventing fist fights in front of the library.” 

“Thank you for preventing World War III today by the way.” Johnny replied sheepishly, tucking the napkin neatly into the front pocket of his jacket. 

“I live to serve.” Kun salutes Johnny with a two finger salute. 

After relaying the rest of the pleasantries, and Johnny’s back up alarm shaming Johnny for not finishing his paper already (it reads: you didn’t finish your midterm, did you?), Johnny finally, actually, takes off. 

Johnny makes it to the bus right before the doors close, huffs an apology to the bus driver who is wholly unimpressed, and makes it to a seat in the middle of the bus. The napkin burns a whole in Johnny’s pocket, which Johnny gingerly removes from its safe home and jams the number into his contact app, inserting a smiley emoticon after Kun’s name just like Kun wrote on the napkin. 

N _ow you have my number too._

_I promise I can be just as helpful,_

_Just give me a call whenever :)_

_This is johnny by the way!_

_Haha, I’ll keep that in mind!_

_I hope you finish your midterm soon! :)_

And if Johnny keeps looking at Kun’s text every 30 minutes until he submits his midterm at 11:47 pm that’s between him and God. 

///

“So, If I burn a soccer ball …” 

  
“Let me stop you right there. The fact that this includes any type of arson, just, strike it off the list.” Kun waves the pretzel stick he’s been using as a pointer to imitate the strike off motion. 

“You know what, good point. Consider it stricken.” Johnny takes a pen to his notebook and randomly scribbles across the page, he’d said the idea off the cuff as a last ditch effort to inspire some creativity from Kun to no avail. Instead Johnny just made himself sound more like a criminal than someone bent on light revenge. 

“It just sucks, you know.” Johnny shuts the cover of his notebook more forcefully than he would have liked, but the impact remains. “Just watching Taeyong mope around the apartment after all of this,” Johnny gestures vaguely in front of him, “just went to shit.” 

Kun nodded quietly, the gears in his brain turning, as if carefully selecting the words to say. 

In the lounge area of their school’s library, the chattier student gathered to work on group projects or study breaks. Johnny and Kun had staked out a corner booth to launch the new stage of Johnny’s plan. And while Johnny had convinced himself of the very professional relationship Kun and Johnny were going to develop, Johnny couldn’t overlook the incredibly immature outcome of a successful plan. 

“You wanna just throw glitter at Yuta?” Kun asks, looking more defeatist by the minute. 

“What if I got one of my nerdy cousins just to email Yuta like 100 times that he sucks.” Johnny props his head up by resting it on his hand. “Mark would do it for like 30 bucks and a watermelon.” 

“We’ll think of something, don’t worry.” Kun’s face was suddenly serious as he dived back into the list of ideas he had found online, barely glancing at Johnny until he could find another answer. 

For the amount of “scheming” Johnny and Kun have done in the past three weeks, even though the ideas were starting to run dry, Johnny and Kun’s lives seemed to mesh together. Without even knowing it. 

Kun brought Johnny coffee after his 9AM’s and Johnny bought cake slices after Kun’s midterm. They went out for lunch every week and sat on the Presidential Lawn on campus with convenience store sandwiches, neither of them dared to look at the damage that being in the weird romantic limbo had on their checking accounts.

  
  


Johnny was ready to start carving ‘J & K’ on the trees with misshapen hearts surrounding their initials, Johnny could take that leap, but every time Johnny was ready to jump, Kun had given him another reason to stall at the ledge.

///

“So you can’t make the sparklers’ spell out ‘ASS’?”  
“Not without getting my scholarship and enrollment at this university revoked.” 

Johnny was at his negotiating limit, he had managed to pare down his message from ‘YUTA YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE’ to a snappy three-letter message but Kun had refused to give in. 

“Also I’m an aerospace engineer major, I wouldn’t even know where to start with pyrotechnics.” 

This is how most Friday nights with Johnny and Kun went nowadays. After being interrogated multiple times on if he had finished his papers, Kun would rush over to Johnny and Taeyong’s apartment, smoosh together on the loveseat, and scheme, among other things. 

Despite the narrow nature of the love seat, Kun and Johnny were pressed of people, knees pushed together and shoulders so close to each other they were practically overlapping. Johnny pushes his arm from behind Kun to nonchalantly flip the papers scribbled on the backs of term papers. Kun’s soft breath accompanies the dramatic sighs exiting Johnny’s mouth, but Johnny can’t decide if it's because his 20th idea has been denied or because Johnny’s been using his last ounce of self control to prevent himself from kissing Kun’s cheek right here right now. 

The space between Kun’s brows furrows as he begins to suggest another idea, Johnny thinks he could just Kun there and be happy forever. Johnny’s brief suspension of bliss, the moment of silence hung between the two, comes crashing down with the loud turn of the front door lock. 

The magic spell Jaehyun has been wanting to cast on Johnny and Kun to separate, has been instantly perfected by a frazzled Taeyong, his hair a darker shade of blue than Johnny had seen that morning. The schemes to accuse Yuta of being an ‘ASS’ have been disguised and flipped over with over-highlighted readings. Johnny is acting so casual right now, even the spilled over the coffee cup on a white carpet is the least of Johnny’s worries. Kun neatly catches the empty falling cup and places it back onto the coffee table at the edge of a page that’s been blowing away under the pressure of the air conditioning unit. The warmth Johnny had been relishing in less than a moment ago squashed under the presence of Johnny’s best friend. 

Taeyong rakes over the couple, unnaturally sticking next to their side of the loveseat, Johnny’s abdomen resting over the armrest looking up at Taeyong conveying through their telepathic brain waves to just pretend the currently compromising condition of Kun and Johnny to be as normal as empty dishes piling up in their sink, a normal fixture of their apartment. Though the blue-haired intruder looks frazzled and disconnected with Johnny-adjusted 8 year friendship goggles on, Kun has been smiling at Taeyong for the better part of a quarter of a minute, before raising his hands to give a curt wave, as if timidly waiting for a celebrity’s approval. 

“Are you the Kun that John has been talking so much about? Have you eaten yet? I’m Taeyong.” The maternalistic instinct behind Taeyong’s eyes come alive, Johnny swears that Taeyong will start to coo at the starstruck Kun. 

  
“Taeyong this is Kun, engineering. Kun this is Taeyong, primary education.” Johnny finds himself next to Kun again, perhaps closer than they were before, not out of jealousy, more out of preemptive concern that Taeyong will deconstruct the several layers of cool he’s built up for Kun. 

“Johnny talks about you a lot too.” Kun all but laughs, “I picked up some pizza on the way here, you’re more than welcome to take the leftovers.” Kun and Tayeong catch on like a bale of hay on fire. Curse Kun for being so damn charming. 

Taeyong rarely embodies the energy of Regina George’s mom, but the entire time he holds Kun’s attention, he still manages to rib Johnny in all the wrong places. Their conversations are unsubtle hit after unsubtle hit. “I hope Johnny’s treating you all right.” and “If any of his schemes go wrong, you can stick with me.” 

Taeyong reaches for the pillow tucked behind Johnny’s back. “Kun, let me know if Johnny’s being unhelpful, I’ll take him for you.” He says with a wink. And smacks Johnny with his pillow, “AND TELL ME WHEN YOU BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND TO OUR APARTMENT!” 

“Taeyong seems like he’s doing better.” Kun breaks the silence, awkward on Johnny’s end but seemingly fine with Kun. 

“Yeah.” Johnny jokingly grimaces. “Maybe doing too well.” Johnny flips the pages of their plan, no closer to completion than when he proposed Kun and him work together several months ago. “I give up.” Johnny sighs. 

“Where’s the guy who was going to risk my college education to prove a point?” Kun ribs at Johnny subtly inching closer, until Johnny can count all of Kun’s moles, under his eyebrow, down his neck, tucked behind his ear. And Johnny gets the urge to jump over the ledge again. 

“He’s gone.” Johnny reaches his arm over Kun’s shoulder, disguising the cheesy move more as a joke, less of an actual attempt to get closer to Kun. Johnny extends his other hand, gesturing directly at his TV, as if gazing over a boundless safari. “He’s disappeared, found dead in a ditch. I’ve given up. My new profession is professional movie watcher, ” 

Kun laughs through a yawn, and rubs his face into Johnny’s soft sweater. He stays there for a moment before looking up at Johnny again. Kun’s a bit starry eyed, a little distant, but determined. He slaps Johnny on the leg, “Go put in a movie then. I’ll get the pizza from the dining table.” 

“Are you sure?” You don’t wanna go home?” Johnny looks at Kun downwards, their faces so close together, bodies so close together, Johnny prays that Kun can’t feel his heart beating. 

“I’m good, I’m fine.” Kun slaps his face lightly. “If I go to the dorm now, Ten will bully me into going drinking, I’m not really in the mood right now.” 

And so Johnny puts a cheesy 90’s comedy in the DVD player (“So old fashioned” Kun laughs), reaches for another slice of pizza, all talks of their plans disappear into the back of their minds. Johnny expects them to be on either side of the couch again, but Kun tucks his legs under him and hugs the nearest throw pillow, and moves near Johnny. Not quite touching, but close. 

Under the dim lights things change. Kun readjusts his body to prevent himself from losing his legs from blood loss. Johnny turns the volume up on the movie by reaching for the remote. But something in the middle, Johnny’s not sure, happens. 

When Taeyong finally re-emerges from his room later in the night, Kun is laying his head on a pillow in Johnny’s lap, arms outstretched comfortably. Johnny has passed out with his head hitting the back of his couch, with his hand in Kun’s hair. 

Taeyong snaps a pic. For the mems.

///

“Give it back!” Kun whines reaching over Johnny, propping himself by one hand on Johnny’s leg. “Johnnyyyyy.” 

Even though Kun’s only had one beer, he looks like he’s been houseparty hopping down frat row. Before he’d even had his first sip, Kun had joked that he was a bit of a light weight, but Johnny thought he was being modest, or at least trying to signal that he hadn’t had a lot of drinking experience. But here he was, holding not a beer can, but a fountain pen out from his body that Kun had brought to his apartment. 

“I try to show you nice things that I have, and you make fun of me for them.” Kun says, tripping over the spaces of the words, but altogether understandable. Kun hugs himself over his soft sweater, lodged in under Johnny’s arm. A familiar scene to the both of them over the past Friday nights. 

“It’s just really, really cute.” Johnny beams down at the Kun who has snuggled in Johnny’s arms. If Kun is trying to be overly affectionate as a joke, to maybe relinquish his fountain pen case, Johnny realizes he has no intention of ever letting go. “Do you draft planes with a fountain pen?” Johnny teases. 

“It was a gift from my cousin, before I left for college. Johnny Suh,” Kun reaches his hand out to cup Johnny’s face between his two slightly warm hands. Kun’s breath fans out across Johnny’s face. He studies it for a moment and starts again. “Johnny Suh. College is scary, being away from home is scary.” Kun sighs. 

Johnny can’t help but laugh again, even when Kun hits him with a sweater paw. 

“Johnny, I’m trying to be vunerlable. Vulnerable. Vulnerable. And you are so nice to me, but then you make fun of me about my prized possessions. What am I going to do about you Mr. Suh?” 

“When you’re more cogent, you should at least do something about it.” Despite the suave answer, Johnny’s heart rate started to quicken. In the weeks of not knowing for sure, existing in the friendship romance limbo, Johnny was starting to wonder if he had imagined an entire relationship between the two. The loneliness projected onto Kun, the closest living boy that seemed to reciprocate his feelings. But the friendliness came with a somewhat icy professionalism, for lack of a better term on Kun’s end. 

Johnny had thought that the extra time, the study dates disguised as brainstorming sessions for Johnny’s revenge, meant they were getting closer. But Kun was still mortified that morning when he woke up on Johnny’s lap and apologized for overstaying his welcome. And everytime Johnny called for a meeting, Kun seemed more determined to come up with a game plan than to sit in the company. 

“I should.” Kun whispered. 

  
Johnny should’ve broke out the beers earlier. 

There’s three firm knocks on the door. Johnny’s going to kill Taeyong for forgetting his key. He glances apologetically to Kun on his lap and wriggles his way out from under Kun’s weight. Kun props his head on the back of the couch looking a bit confused but unbothered. 

Johnny opens the front door and starts “Taeyong, how many times have I told you to keep your keys on you, oh. You.” 

Yuta is looking up at Johnny through his bangs, seemingly on the verge of tears, obviously drunk. He balls up his fists and places them on Johnny’s chest, lightly beating them against Johnny’s jacket. 

“Where’s Taeyong? I want to see him!” Yuta all but wails. 

“Taeyong’s not here. And even if he was, he doesn’t want to see you. I don’t want to see you right now.” Johnny replies icily. 

“I messed up, Johnny! I was scared of leaving and the future and I really messed it up with Taeyong. I want him back, really.” Yuta cries, even louder this time. 

Moonbyul, the self appointed apartment floor watch, opens her door and raises an eyebrow at Johnny, mouthing if everything is okay. Johnny smiles back and ushers Yuta back into the apartment, more willing to listen to his case than he initially realized. Johnny’s words to Kun at the cafe still ring true. Johnny isn’t pissed that Yuta broke up with Taeyong, it’s that he left it all, with no explanation, and expected it to all be normal again. 

Kun’s eyes widen at the sight of his loose acquaintance stumbling into the apartment, immediately leaving the couch to get some water from the tap for Yuta. 

“Kun, why are you here?” Yuta reaches out from grasping onto Johnny and into Kun’s arms. 

“I was just hanging out with Johnny, are you okay? Do you need help?” Kun doesn’t falter even supporting Yuta’s weight while avoiding the water glass.

“Yes! I want Taeyong back.” Yuta’s eyes were welling up again and looking up at Kun. He’s on the couch, holding Kun’s hands in his lap. Kun looks sympathetically down at Yuta before glancing up at Johnny. Johnny’s been leaning against a wall watching it all/Yuta unravel in front of him. Johnny raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders in response. Johnny can forgive himself for being a little skeptical of his friend’s ex boyfriend on his doorstep, more kicked puppy than person. 

“We broke up because I was scared, you know?” Yuta blubbers, hands still nestled in Kun’s hands. “I’m not scared anymore, I love him, I want him back, you know?” 

“Oh Yuta.” Kun rubs Yuta’s back in large circles, “I know. Don’t cry.” 

Johnny can’t help but bristle at the words. Kun knew? Then wasn’t it weird that Kun was hanging out with him for months, jokingly plotting against Yuta? Johnny didn’t realize Kun and Yuta were that close, the stories that Johnny had told about Yuta must have relayed back to him at some point. Johnny’s face goes hot. 

“Johnny” Yuta turns toward Johnny with the most clarity he’s exhibited all night. “You gotta help me get him back.” Yuta reaches into the pocket inside his jacket lining and pulls out a slightly crumpled but well loved paper crane. “You did it once you can do it again, right?”  
  


And for the rest of the night, which was quite a long time, since Yuta had stumbled to Johnny’s front door at a time closer to day drinking, not bar hopping, Yuta poured his thoughts, hearts, and tears to Johnny. It really made a lot of sense to Johnny once Yuta had really cleared his thoughts and talked it through. Yuta was getting some pressure back home to find work abroad, or face the threat of returning to Japan. He wasn’t getting any successful job offers, and recent grades in his courses were starting to stress him out. Coupled with uncooperative professors and his fear of being far away with Taeyong in the future, Yuta had lashed out. In the most Yuta way possible, sending a very calmly worded text. 

“I just want to explain everything to him, I think I need to talk to him where he can’t block me or turn around in the quad and run the other way.” Yuta smiled wryly. 

  
  


Whatever suspicious scenario Yuta had arrived at the apartment had all but dispelled.

When Johnny got the text from Taeyong that he was coming back from his late night study group (code for education major drinking party), Johnny finally ushered Yuta, accompanied by Kun, out of his apartment. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to reveal to Taeyong he had been harboring his exboyfriend in their apartment, no matter how innocent their intentions. 

But Johnny couldn’t help but notice all the little things. How Kun zipped up Yuta’s jacket for him, seemingly totally cogent after his little moment on the couch. How Kun threw a scarf around Yuta’s neck or pushed him out of the apartment by the small of his back. It wasn’t romantic, by any length of the imagination, but it felt close. Uniquely familiar in a way Johnny couldn’t put his finger on. 

He couldn’t even say Kun had betrayed him, there was nothing between Kun and Johnny for anyone to betray. 

But it was nice having a comfortable friend back, one Johnny didn’t have to spend effort avoiding in the library or on his way to class. 

Johnny sighs, clearing the coffee table from it’s stray beer cans and used tissues. Johnny could only hope that a slammed Taeyong would spare him from extreme questioning when he got home. 

All the plans that had been schemed between Johnny and Kun remained, but Johnny couldn’t be convinced to throw it all away. It was physical proof that Johnny and Kun were friends, and were allies, but maybe Johnny and Kun weren’t as close as Johnny felt at all. All the progress that he had though he had made tonight had been thrown to the wayside 

But getting people back together, specifically getting Taeyong and Yuta together, that Johnny could do.

///

Yuta texts Kun who texts Johnny the next morning, a third apologizing, a third asking Johnny to unblock Yuta, and a third planning to come up with a new plan to get Taeyong and Yuta to come together. Yuta shows up, almost every other day, with a new gift in hand. A consolation or thank you, Johnny can’t decide. 

After a number of close calls at Johnny’s apartment, two of which had Yuta on the fire escape when Taeyong returned home, the group decide to move their war room. Johnny had hoped his dorm days were over with, but the things he did for the love lives of his friends. 

It’s significantly less compromising to scheme in the lounge of Kun’s dorm floor. Significantly less Taeyong run-ins, and Johnny notices that Yuta is more at ease, when he doesn’t think he’ll see Taeyong every other moment. Plus the lounge allows for their troupe to increase in size, with Jaehyun and Doyoung joining them every other minute. Jaehyun actually has helpful suggestions, Doyoung mostly just scowls at Johnny, rolling his eyes, and scoffing every other minute. It takes all the self control in Johnny’s body not to just fight Doyoung right in front of the lounge coffee maker. 

“Hi.” Kun pokes his head in the lounge where Johnny was now vertical on the couch he had just sat on. “I brought donuts.” Kun’s eyes crinkle at the corner and his dimples deepen just like they did before and Johnny can feel himself start to fall in again and again. 

But he doesn’t. He stands on the ledge, his foot is already hovering over the chasm of loving Qian Kun, but Johnny grips onto the cool railing of rationality. The railing of doubt. The railing of skepticism every time Kun looks at him, or gets close, or brings him donuts. 

“You didn’t have to.” Johnny meekly replies. That’s all he can feel toward Kun these days, meek. 

“I wanted to.” Kun sits on the edge of the couch, near Johnny’s torso, and puts his hand gently on Johnny’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Are you stressing yourself out too much?” Kun slides his hand down Johnny’s face until it's cupping his jaw. His eyes are too earnest, too concerned, but Johnny catches Kun’s hand near his cheek before it can move anywhere else. 

“I’m fine.” Johnny smiles, “Just a little tired.” 

Kun tilts his head in disbelief, but doesn’t press Johnny any further. 

“GUYS! I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA!” Jaehyun has body checked the door frame rushing into the lounge, one hand holding a flyer, the other hand holding Doyoung’s hand. Johnny makes a mental note to tease Jaehyun about it later. “The Winter Festival!” 

The Winter Festival is also known as the last fun thing that happens on campus, before their university goes on a three week compulsory period of mourning their sleep and their grades before finals really kicks the students in the pants. Doyoung claims that it’s to boost campus morale, Johnny counters that it’s the administration's way to convince the student body they aren’t sad before arguably the saddest time on campus. Kun doesn’t see why it can’t be both. 

“Tell ‘em Doie.” Jaehyun pushes Doyoung a little bit to speak. Johnny holds back the scoff at the adorable pet nickname. 

“I know some people in the Student Union who run the Winter Festival. You talked about a large spectacle last week right Johnny? We could do something there. Maybe the crane thing you did for Yuta and Taeyong when they got together.” Doyoung relinquishes. Johnny has to give credit where credit is due, Doyoung is resourceful when it counts. 

Johnny has wriggled enough on the couch to prop himself up to look Doyoung in the eye. “I don’t do the same gimmick twice.” 

“Isn’t there a firework show at the Festival?” Kun asks, turning toward Jaehyun. “Last year, didn’t they all erupt at the same time?” 

The promise of pyrotechnics seems to breathe new life into the plan. With a bit of prodding from Johnny, the dominoes all seem to be in the right place. Unsurprisingly, Kun has some connections with Minghao, the new engineering student overseeing the firework show. Doyoung has some cash for potential bribery. If Johnny can teach Jaehyun to flirt with the Student Union leaders to make some slight adjustments to their plan, it would be smooth sailing. Yuta would just have to do the talking. The dominoes were less in the right place, more distantly placed with the chance that the chain reaction would hopefully result. 

A few late night calls, and two rounds of takeout, Jaehyun and Doyoung finally shuffled out of the lounge.  
  


“I don’t know why he’s in such a hurry, he lives down the hall from me.” Kun teases, knowing the answer far too well. He picks up the mug he’s taken from his room and promises Johnny that he’ll be back to walk Johnny out the front door of the dorm. 

Johnny beams back and says he’ll be waiting for him to get back, dramatically patting the couch, as if the gesture would somehow bolster the promise. As soon as Kun turns down the hall, Johnny drops his face into his hands, raking his hair back with his hands, in that way he did when he couldn’t think of the answer for his midterm. 

Yuta picks up his backpack, the black rucksack usually stuffed with gym clothes and a stray soccer ball, noticeably replaced with papers for exams, and a bag of chips he brought to the group. 

“So you and Kun?” Yuta smiles gently.

“Yuta, I really don’t want to talk about this with you.” Johnny doesn’t really want to get into it, because the moment Johnny gets into it, the floodgates will be released, and Johnny doesn’t need to blubber all his feelings about Kun just because Yuta did it to him a week ago. 

“Johnny, are you still mad about this?” Yuta gestures at the space between the two vaguely. 

“Do you want honesty, Yuta?” If Johnny can’t be honest about how he feels about Kun, he can at least be honest to Yuta. “You really hurt us,” Johnny’s voice dips, his voice goes quiet, “It was so painful, and honestly I don’t know If I want to rush and put everything behind me.” Johnny picks his backpack up from the floor and starts for the door. 

“But you are still Yuta, I still care about you, and mostly,” Johnny takes a deep breath again, “Taeyong deserves an explanation. I don’t really care if you two end up together. I just want Taeyong to feel closure.” Johnny's smile pinches, but it’s still genuine. One day Yuta and Johnny will get beers and confide in each other again. Maybe not today, but Johnny doesn't rule out beer drinking next week. “I really missed you Yuta, it’s nice to have you back. Really.” 

“You’re not going to wait for Kun?” Yuta asks, a little surprised, the evidence directly contradicting his hypothesis. 

“I’ll text him, I don’t want to bother him. Thank you for your concern Yuta.” Johnny is tired. Johnny can’t remember when this whole project started to get away from him. At first it was to satiate this urgent desire to be right, bonus points for being able to flirt with a boy. But Johnny felt double crossed by Kun in some way, he was tired of keeping secrets from Kun, and the frequent stare down by Doyoung was not helping his situation. Johnny’s pride used to be in being in control, he should’ve accounted for all of the external factors. 

H _ey I’m sorry I left you hanging last night. I just really needed to get home, and then I passed out._

///

It’s a brisk night. 

The fairy lights strung across all the stalls glisten reflecting the stars the light pollution has made impossible to see in the city. The smell of fried food and deserts waft throughout the air. 

“The carbohydrates sate you, they make you unable to rise up against the tyranny of campus administration.” Yuta lectures at Jaehyun who listens eagerly. 

“Uh huh. And what is the ring toss a metaphor for?” Jaehyun asks by shoving his hands into his coat pockets where the hot packs are working their magic. Doyoung rolls his eyes by their side, pushing his hair back with some high end leather gloves from a brand Johnny’s probably never heard of. 

While the conversation seems innocuous enough, Johny, Yuta, Doyoung, and Jaehyun have been walking in circles weaving through the food stands surrounding the ferris wheel for the past 15 minutes. Johnny’s neck is starting to cramp with how much craning he’s doing to try to find Kun and his dumb fingerless gloves that have a bear’s face on them. 

“He’ll show up, stop being so worried.” Doyoung nudged Johnny on the side. 

Johnny hums quietly in affirmation. In stark contrast to the days Kun and Johnny had spent together the weeks and months before, Johnny hadn’t really seen Kun since then. They bumped into each other where their subconscious minds hadn’t adapted to the new change in their relationship status, but hadn’t spoken to each other besides the occasional text to confirm when and where they would meet. 

It was Johnny’s fault entirely. He knew. He was holding Kun at a distance, partly because Johnny felt awkward about how they left things, and partly because Johnny found comfort in the distance. He wasn’t in the gravitational pull of Qian Kun, his thoughts were his own, not muddled with the hot and cold approach of Kun. 

  
  


But to create this cover to drag Taeyong out to the Winter Festival, Johnny had asked Kun to be a time biding decoy. Johnny hemmed and hawed at Taeyong to help him drive Kun out to the Winter Festival. He couldn’t do it himself, because he was planning a surprise for him (the best lies, Johnny instructed, where ones entrenched in truth). 

So Taeyong relented. 

“They’re here.” Doyoung commented, pointing at Taeyong’s bright red beanie in a crowd of neutral colors. 

  
“Operation Ferris Wheel is a go.” Jaehyun added cheesily. 

“Let’s get a move on lover boy.” Johnny smiles at Yuta, pats him on the butt, and pushes him in the direction of the ferris wheel. 

The minutia of the plan were admittedly not as planned out as Johnny had wanted, but Johnny was just going to bear through it with a grin and forceful suggestion at the ferris wheel employees. It mostly includes asking the teenage employee if Johnny and Co. can camp out near the carriage for a while and watch other people get on. 

Johnny’s radar for teenage apathy has apparently been recently tuned because all the vested worker does is huff and say “sure.” the gum the kid is smacking a sign of his dedication to his profession. 

The red beanie works its way through the line, like a single shark fin coming up to the shore, signalling an ominous future. Yuta is starting to pace in the small area outside the ferris wheel loading area, which is more like turning in circles. Jaehyun is trying to coax Yuta into some peace, Doyoung rightfully notes that it’s a lost cause. 

“You know if Johnny’s been kinda down recently it’s because he’s been really busy at home. Don’t tell him I said this, but his courses are kicking his ass a little, and he’s doing a bit of catch up. Not that he’s a delinquent or anything, he’s a very responsible kid.” Taeyong’s voice rises above the rest of the din. 

“I didn’t really notice it, but thank you for telling me. I’ll ask him about it later.” Kun replies a bit lifelessly. Maybe everyone in comparison to Taeyong’s matchmaking volume just seems incredibly quiet. 

“He likes you alot.” Johnny can see Taeyong coming closer to the gate, readjusting Kun’s scarf and zipping Kun’s jacket a little higher up. “I know that sometimes he has a hard time saying it, he feels like he has to show off, but he really likes you, I promise. Are you cold?” Taeyong continues to fuss, pulling Kun’s hat down until it comes close to his eyebrows. 

Johnny turns toward Jaehyun who takes out his phone to make a call to pyrotechnics. 

When Taeyong finally sees Johnny he beams again, smiling because for once Taeyong thinks he’s on the scheming side of Johnny’s plans, and not as unfortunate collateral damage. At least this time, Johnny hopes the collateral damage won’t be as...damaging. 

Johnny looks at Kun in the eyes, channels his best prince in love acting and finds he doesn’t really have to act at all. It comes rushing back, Kun’s eyes make Johnny feel like putty, even when they’re steely, they’re still pretty, flecked with the multitude of colors projected from the lights above. He takes Kun’s hand and holds it tight, tucks his and Kun’s hand into the front pocket of his puffer and looks at the open ferris wheel carriage signaling to Taeyong to get in. 

Taeyong obliges with a smile which widens when he sees Jaehyun and Doyoung asking innocently if they can get in the carriage with him. Johnny is still looking at Kun, while watching Taeyong from his peripheral, he can tell Kun is doing the same. 

There’s a shout, a sigh, and a “just hear me out Taeyong-hyung. If it goes poorly, I’ll tell you all the details you want to know about Doyoung.” The gate latches closed, and Yuta and Taeyong leave the ground in their personal prison/discussion chamber of fun as Jaehyun had so eloquently put it earlier. 

“You can let go of my hands now right? Mission accomplished?” Kun asks with a humorless edge to his voice. 

“Yeah.” Johnny starts to loosen his grip. “Actually, do you mind taking a ride with me?” Johnny looks at Kun’s hesitation in his eyes.

///

  
Johnny fishes something out of his wallet. A crumpled out receipt with a scrawl on the back, some handwriting Johnny had some time getting familiar with. 

_I O U!_ _Good For at least a dozen white roses, or chat._

“I’d like to cash my IOU in, for one chat.” Johnny smiles. 

Kun glances between Johnny’s receipt and the newly empty ferris wheel carriage. “Okay. Let’s talk.” 

Johnny glances back at Jaehyun and Doyoung. Jaehyun looks a bit confused but supportive, Doyoung sticks his thumbs out in the only encouragement Doyoung knows how. Somehow sincere yet condescending.

When the gate closes neither Johnny and Kun want to talk. Kun picks at the vinyl seat and Johnny just keeps readjusting his arms in front of him, or fiddling with his fingers. 

“Kun, look out over your shoulder.” Johnny points out to the field where the fireworks are being launched from. 

The whoosh of the rocket launcher dissipates into a loosely constructed ‘Y’. It’s entirely unreadable unless you knew you were looking for it. 

Then the red blob Minghao assured Kun would be a heart. The sparkly sounds of the firework dissipate again. 

The a ‘T’. It looks more like the ‘Y’ they asked for than the ‘Y’ they initially ordered. 

Kun and Johnny’s watery eyes at the air, altitude, and cold start to leak genuine tears. The carriage begins to rock with laughter, Johnny’s doubled over trying to catch his breath, while Kun is banging his hand against the sides of the carriage. 

“How.” Breath. “Much.” Wheeze. “Did Doyoung pay for this.” Kun wipes the tears from his eyes with a glove. 

“Too much, way too much. Thankfully the men who are into Jaehyun are rich and entirely susceptivel to our whims.” 

Silence. And then they dissolve into a chorus of giggles again. 

“This is awful Johnny. Your plan failed.” Kun smiles.  
  
“Well we won’t really know until we get back onto the ground.” Johnny counters gently. 

“Okay.” Kun smooths out the part of his zip up resting on his thighs. “Last I heard, you and your friend had a bit of a falling out. Do you still want the two dozen white roses?”

“Nope. It’s all better with my friend. We’ve talked it out and are taking it slow, sometimes talking it out really does help. But now, I have new problems, like this guy I like. I really messed it up with him, and I want him to hear me out again.” Kun raises an eyebrows, asking Johnny to continue. 

“Kun, you have to know how much I like you. I don’t think I ever kept it a secret for as long as I knew you. Even in that chemistry lab last year.” Johnny starts. “I think this time I could get the outcome I wanted, one where we were friends.” Johnny continues carefully, “or one where we were actually together.” 

Kun nods diplomatically, face even and composed. 

“I think I became kinda fixated with being in control. Of the project, and about our relationship, and about a whole lot of things this semester.” Johnny thought about warning Jaehyun about getting into a relationship with Doyoung, working as a producer for the radio show instead of as a DJ, about group projects that his partners refused to finish on time, even knowing Kun and Yuta were closer than he anticipated.” 

Kun’s face softens a little. 

“I hope it wasn’t scary for you. I would never want to scare you, but I really wanted to let you know what was going on. To pull this totally not an asshole line, ‘It was me not you’. You drive me crazy sometimes Kun, I feel like I can’t think when I’m around, I literally lose my mind. And it kills me a little that I know I’m falling so hard, and it looks like you haven’t moved at all.” 

“Oh, Johnny. I like you so much, I thought you knew. That’s my mistake. I should’ve been more clear about it. I think you give yourself a little too much credit for thinking only one of us was into each other.” Kun reaches out and moves a piece of Johnny’s hair behind his ear. “I liked you since we sat in the coffee shop together.” 

“Really?” Johnny sounded more insecure than he hoped, but that’s how the word came out.

“Really. Really.” Kun held Johnny’s face between his hands, fingers ghosting over Johnny’s ears and thumb’s running over Johnny’s cheeks. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“I never thought you’d ask.” Johnny laughed pulling Kun in closer to him, the carriage swinging to compensate for the lack of balance. 

By the time Johnny and Kun had made it down the ferris wheel, they had kissed as much as their icy lips allowed, and were making plans for hot apple cider at the drink stall in the back, before they heard quiet sobs from below. Kun’s furrowed eyebrows reflected in Johnny as he gripped Kun’s hand a little harder. They hopped out of the carriage only to see Taeyong engulfed in Yuta’s coat, crying so hard he was shaking in Yuta’s chest. Yuta was running his hands down Taeyong’s back, but Jaehyun made an ‘okay’ sign with his fingers. 

The messages were conflicting, but not too alarming. 

Between the sobs, “Don’t” Slap against Yuta’s chest. “Do.” Soft thud. “That.” Hit. “Again.” Taeyong all but garbled out of his mouth.

Doyoung grinned in the corner, suppressing the urge to laugh, and even Johnny looked down at Kun under his arms with a grin he was struggling to contain. 

“Come on Taeyong, let’s go berate Yuta under the big tents with the heaters.” Johnny urged Taeyong to take a couple steps forward, which seemed to cease the tears, especially when Taeyong finally saw the lack of space between Kun and Johnny. 

Johnny turned the keys outside of their apartment while Taeyong did a bit of a jig to warm himself up. A misshapen teddy bear Kun had won for Johnny joined Johnny’s frankly impressive collection of plushy bed residents. Johnny’s back hurt, his feet hurt, and if he still had a nose tomorrow morning, he would be eternally grateful. 

A _lso you have to reply to my texts, no disappearing on me again._

Johnny smiled. 

I _would never imagine it._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
